No foreplay

I copied this rom a guy I do not know (he's a friend's friend on FB) and I have to apologise, I did this before getting permission to. While I agree that it reeks of contained anger, probably from having to say this over and over again to the same woman to no end, it has all the truth and allure ai as a woman need. So, I felt some of my sisters would be better of readingthis. So here goes the most fantastic read of all times on ... you guessed ... relationship! Have at it!!


"Lets leave out the 'foreplay' for a change and get straight to the point. . Tired of getting tips from those "how-to-be-better-at-loving-her" type of articles, which I find helpful but usually leave me wondering if there are "how-to-be-better-at-loving-him" 'counterparts' to compliment them?

I've compiled a list of important things I feel the lady folk should know hoping they would read and pick some pointers from it instead of indulging in craming and trashing out with their friends, articles written for guys for ther own benefit, after they've scrutinized them thoroughly to find out if the author has expressed their personal views.

I speak for myself in the list but I'm very sure my voice stands for a majority of men all around the world, most of whom have already given up on ever having a relationship that's better than the average Joes'.

Please pay attention; I'm positive you will learn a thing or more that'l help you become "Miss Right" while waiting for "Mr. Right" from the points mentioned below.

1. Fix me a special meal sometimes, preferably something unconventional. This tells me you get highly creative when U think about me and creativity is facinating. Ps: Don't freak out if I'm more interested in you than I seem to be in the food cos U probably flattered my appetite away.

2. Give me a proper pedicure and manicure. You could either do it yourself, which I'd prefer, or take me where you get yours done and pay to have mine done. Trust me, with the right approach and attitude, this could be as satisfying as a blow job, and it beats telling me "you need a pedicure;" Like I didn't know I do!

3. Offer to iron something for me, especially when its something I need to use urgently and time's against me, the pleasure from this is so much more when you show some enthusiasm while doing it. It could be my shirt, trouser or even my handkerchief.

4.As much as you honestly can, try to get along with my mum, and the rest of my, perhaps, soon to be 'former family,' (even those I don't get along with). She's the only known epitome of faithfulness to me from birth, and the two of you getting along makes me feel like you were 'the' perfect find of the same kind. Don't patronize them, just be yourself. I know how difficult this could be but you genuine efforts will not go unnoticed or unrewarded. Leave the 'Irish diplomacy' to me. I know them better.

5. I appreciate your tears and value each drop more than either of us can understand. You could fake a thousand orgasms and I wouldn't know unless you told me, but fake being hurt by crying crocs and I'll definately figure you out. To surmarise this point, just don't use your knowledge of my weaknesses for you to manipulate me... ever. I'm not weak because you are strong, I'm weak because it feels good to be so for you so I let myself be so, and in my weakness all I need is the security of trust.

6.Do not underestimante the power of words with a personal touch. "I like cooking" or "I like dressing up" don't mean much to me when you say so; those are just words; but "I like cooking 'for you'," and "I like dressing up 'for you'," just like "I enjoy being kissed 'by you'," are experiences beyond words that make me want to buy you that Pair of Gucci shoes and matching bag you wanted for Christmas, now. Talk to me personally, sweet talk me like I do you; make love to my ego.

7. There's a strongly bonding and deeply satisfying feeling I get from the knowing you'll let me run my hands through your hair and scatter it without you freaking out, even if its when you've just come back from getting it styled. "Hell no?" i thougt as much but I guess that's why I want to; I guess its because your hair is most often, kind of like 'private territory' and having me 'intrude' without querry makes me feel like a V.I.P; and to be fair, I probably wouldn't make a regualr habit of it once I know It's 'painfully' okay with you... maybe once in every quarter of the year. lol!

8. I know you enjoy shopping, especially when I'm paying; I enjoy it to, even when I pay. Did you know your shopping can be as pleasurable for me & my pocket as it is for you when, from time to time, you remember to at least get me something, especially if it's something I need or will find useful. "Oh yes;" Focusing on 'needs' before 'wants' and maximizing our resources as you shop gives me a certain sense of peace and security that I'm with the right person too.

9. Yes I like boobs and I like ass and all the other distinctly outlined contours on your 'facinating' body, but when you, in the name of vogue or couture, put them on display and every Tom, Dick and Okoro out there (who like me, have developed 'x-ray' vision enough to see through a nun's straight frocks) ogles at you, the only thing you achieve is making your 'goods' more visible & attractive to them and less so to me. Please, by all means, show respect for yourself and regard for me in the way you dress, leave the naughty stuff for when we're alone.

10. Be rational, or at least try to be. As much as I like attending shows and concerts with you when your favorite male artist is performing, indiscreetly verbalizing or revealing in any other way whatsoever, how much you 'love' him, his voice or his performance makes me feel exactly how you would if I took you to say, a strip club and wouldn't shut up about how much I enjoyed how the strippers' supple hips swayed in rhythm to her peppy boobs.

11. Talk to me... Please! I'm not psychic yet but if we work towards effective communication now, with time, I'll have become as specialized a psychic for you as you've always desired. I enjoy getting pointers and feedback from you; they help me understand you better and love you with more ease.Ps: when you nag, ALL I hear is "I think you're a dumb idiot." That doesnt help.

12. Get comfortable with your body. Without it I wouldn't have noticed you; or that something about it I paricularly like with special interest, which more than covers adequately for the less than perfect bit(s) I probably don't even notice. if I wasnt comfortable with the way you looked, I wouldnt have approached you in the first place. If you don't believe me when I say "you're a complete package of all I desire," one of us might along the line wander off the road to infidelity, and don't be surprised if its you.

13. Wake up to the fact that I will always have other passions that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your kind; football, Martial arts or car racing for example. They're part of what make me me. Instead of trying to come between me and my other passions, which will only cause undesirable friction between us, you could either develop interests in them and help me enjoy them more in ways I didn't know I could (which I'd prefer), or you could just let me enjoy them. My attention won't always be on you... Maybe most times, certainly but not ALL the time.

14. Wise up now or show yourself foolish later. Friends or foe, most girls that flirt with me & most guys that do so with you, especially when they're aware we are an item, don't do so because they like me or you better than we like each other (as they attempt to portray). They just don't like us being together and are acting on their envious curiosity to find out what would happen if we weren't. If we both stay conscious of this, our togetherness will have better chances of outliving their 'curiosities.'

15.Establish your priorities, they speak louder than your words. I understand you can have tall ambitions too, and maybe what you desire is to become an astronaut or the Secretary General of the UN. Well I have absolutely no problems with that, and infact will support you fully in all the ways I can, as long as you can consistently and evidently show me that in your heart of hearts, you value our relationship and all we share more than you do your ambitions. Nobody wants to feel like the means to an end; not even you. Ps: I don't need your money to take good care of us, so if your excuse for working such long hours, tight shifts or under manipulative conditions that rob us of precious time is so you can support me by increasing 'our' income, understand now that you've made yourself a slave to an idea you will bring us more sorrow than joy; you especially.

16. Competition with me is just irritating. I'm not one of your girlfriends so please stop trying to impress me with what you can do as well as I can or better than I can. Rather, try impressing me with what you 'can't' do and want me to do for you, expressing trust that I can do it as good as you expect and better than anyone else can. Honestly, you're more attractive to me in your helplessness than you are to me in your strengths and I am more motivated to achieve and please by your reliance than I am by your self sufficiency.

17. Accept it. Yes! My kind are rather possessive with things we cherish. Even as boys we wouldn't let you or anyone else hold our favorite toy unless we really liked you, and even then, not for long. Being best friends with some other guy or flirting with other guy(s) in the name of being "friendly" or having an "existent social life" and expecting us to 'understand' only tells us you're not worth us cherishing. In essence, what we hear is "I can't be your treasured 'toy'." This won't do you any good.

18. Really, I'm not with you because you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm with you because I;
a) Like you a lot,
b) Love you,
c) Can live with you a lot more comfortably than I could with 'her', and agree within myself that you satisfy me more than she ever could, or
d) A combination of the three.
There is no "most beautiful woman in then world" that's why we can confidently say you are, and there's no such thing as "I 'can't' live without you."

19. Know this and guard it; I adore the beauty of your sexuality and your expression of it as much as I adore every other trait that makes you you; Nothing plants you and you alone on the grounds of my life wherever you may choose and as firmly as you desire, beyond all possible resistance, as much as when you consciously reserve me the exclusive rights to share, nuture, reveal, explore, partake of, discover and rediscover it with you. Screw around (even once) and we're more screwed than the bolts on the Golden gate bridge - most likely beyond redemption, and should we survive, the scar will remain.

20. It's totally okay to come onto me. Whoever suggested that sexual agressiveness as a man's duty must have been either a lazy wuss or an ignorant bore. As much as you enjoying playing victim to my strong desires for you, every now and then, I do to; and as its really impossible for our passions to flame on at the same time always, you'll find its less frustrating if we just take the initiative when we feel like. Trust me if you feel you're scared of being turned down by me, it's not half as much as I usually am with you. Statistics are in your favour. So go ahead, come have a hug, or steal a kiss, or cuddle with me, or..., when you feel like it instead of waiting for me to decode you.

21. To love and to submit will become our most critical assignments to one another as a couple; for me, to love you (deeper than was put to you in your Mills & Booms'), and for you, to submit to me. These are divine assignments - no easy tasks, but totaly doable and rewarding beyond measure. I understand if you think submission means being subdued and that makes you feel primitive in this mordern times. Its similar to the way I sometimes think loving you means being 'handicapped' in having just you when I could have a harem of beautiful women along with you; which of course makes me feel too 'modern.' God help us both!

22. Believe me, you can hurt me just like I can hurt you. The personal choices we make have a lot to do with whether or not, how often, how much and for how long we do. The standing stereotype of our time says "guys are evil heartbreakers," but truth be told, I'm no more of an evil heartbreaker than you are and no less vulnerable to you as you feel you are to me either.


23 Our relationship is not perfect and for the world, will never be. It is however a standing opportunity with no limitations, for as long as we agree, to make of it what we desire and choose to. I need your support as much as you need mine and someday, if we sustain our efforts, found on friendship, reinforced in love, and roofed in resolve and approved by God, we will find we have built something marvelous and perfect just for us."